


Choosing With Care 3 -- Temptation

by Viola_Laterra



Series: Choosing With Care [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 02:37:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Laterra/pseuds/Viola_Laterra
Summary: "Aziraphale, on the other hand, was feeling for the first time what it might be like not to be bound by the rules of Heaven anymore."...Expanding on Touching the Light, Facing the Dark (Aziraphale's POV)





	Choosing With Care 3 -- Temptation

Crowley was deeply, desperately in love with the world, Aziraphale thought to himself. He'd known that about his friend for a long time. But Crowley was also apparently that in love with him, as well. If he was being honest with himself, the angel had to admit that he'd probably known that for a long time, too... but it hadn't been until they'd faced the Apocalypse together, it hadn't been until they'd almost lost each other, that he'd really seen it. Crowley'd still never said as much, of course. But Aziraphale knew all the same.

Actually, he could identify the exact moment that he knew it consciously: when he'd made the questionable decision (the latest in a long series of questionable decisions) to try to go back to Earth in his astral form, and try to find a body to possess. He'd sought Crowley first thing, instinctually. He tried to tell himself as the situation unfolded that it was because Crowley was his partner in celestial crime, because only the two of them knew who the Antichrist really was -- and apparently only the two of them wanted to do anything to keep the world from ending.

But it was also because his last thought while being discorporated was that he knew it meant he'd never see Crowley again. He knew that his side was expecting him to take up arms (never mind his missing flaming sword), he knew he'd never experience the Earth again, and that he'd never have the opportunity to... what was it he'd said to himself all these years? Fraternize with a singularly amenable individual from the other side.

So when he went back... he naturally went straight for Crowley, because that was the thing he wanted most: to see his friend again. And when he saw the state Crowley was in, and asked why, and Crowley said it was because he'd lost Aziraphale... *that* was the moment.

It must have been the feeling of love that welled up in return that inspired Aziraphale's statement that it was a pity he couldn't inhabit Crowley's body... he had wanted so badly to reciprocate, to reassure his friend, to soothe him, and that felt like the quickest way to do so. But at the same time, he was terrified of what might happen. He told himself then that it was something about dark and light canceling each other out. But when he was honest with himself later, it was also because he wasn't sure what it would do to him, emotionally... or to Crowley.

Admitting to himself, even, that he might love Crowley back... it was a dangerous proposition. Of course he knew no one else who felt as he did about the Earth and the humans, about wanting to protect them, give them the right to keep choosing between Heaven and Hell, Bad and Good. He knew no one else who felt the need to apply their own logic to what was actually Bad and Good. Crowley was wily; Crowley was mischievous. He definitely enjoyed making trouble for the humans, tempting them. But again, Aziraphale knew just how much Crowley loved the Earth, humans included. Crowley generally never actually hurt them, in the end. Might let them hurt each other, of course. But even Aziraphale never forced the humans to be kind to each other, either. That, at least, was something they retained from their respective sides: whisper in an ear, but let the human do the thing that would damn or save them.

So... now that it was a new world? Now that he'd had to admit to himself that 'his side' was just as terrible as 'the other side'? Now, the idea of being on their own side was extremely appealing. The only thing *to* do. And if they were going to pull it off, they had to scare the living daylights out of their former 'sides.' Convince Heaven and Hell to leave them alone. They'd discussed how to achieve it. They'd come to a strategy that involved an exchange. And... even after all those thousands of years, they'd never actually touched each other. And they'd needed to, to do what they had to do to execute the plan, to free themselves, to save each other.

Was it the feeling of freedom from Heaven's rules? Or was it the wine? Or was it the fact that the world wasn't going to end, and there was Crowley, so utterly himself, and Aziraphale had to admit to himself how much he loved his friend? He was still afraid of what might happen, but when Crowley suggested they find a more pleasurable way to exchange forms... there was a part of Aziraphale that desperately wanted to. And though his remaining reservations were a little stubborn -- old habits are hard to break, after all -- fortunately Crowley's job was tempting people. So it hadn't been all that difficult to just let go and do it. And... kissing him had been extremely pleasurable, and extremely satisfying. Worth the risk. Made him wonder how much of that was physical and how much was emotional. Made him wonder just what other things felt like...

And now that they'd succeeded in freeing themselves of Heaven and Hell's rules, now that they'd switched back... as Aziraphale sat at lunch, watching Crowley say something animated about squirrels, he thought to himself: well, it's a whole new world for us, too. We'll just see how things go.


End file.
